| Shame is very common amongst adolescents/children.
Weissbourd (1996) reports on research with prison inmates, which indicates
that many criminals report having been chronically humiliated in their
youth.
Many high school students do not feel valued and do feel shame in the
school setting. Often this occurs in one or more of the following three
areas:
• Classroom
Many students find classroom learning to be irrelevant to their
lives, and whereas many alienated students are behind in their academic
skills, primarily reading skills, many are gifted students bored
by the lock-step nature of classes. They feel shamed by their teachers
for not doing homework, for not performing well, and by their poor
grades, and attend less and less regularly.
• Physical Education
Whereas some alienated students are not athletic, many are excellent
athletes, often surfers and skateboarders for example. They dislike
the competitive nature of p.e. classes and are “shamed”
by teachers and peers for not caring about winning. They dislike
the special status given to the recognized school “jocks.”
They stop dressing out and stop attending.
• Peers
In any school it is clear which groups are “in” and
which groups are “out”. The “in” group usually
occupies a central place in the school, physically as well as status-wise.
Many alienated students feel hatred and shame when in contact with
the “in” group of a school. They will not walk in certain
areas of campus, feel lack of ownership and connection to the school,
and attend less and less regularly.
What Is This Resiliency Stuff?
Werner and Smith’s definitive research (1992) that serves as the
foundation for Resiliency Theory (RT) is described in more detail on
a separate slide, identified as Werner/Smith.
RT is based on defining the protective factors within the family, school
and community that exist for the successful child/adolescent - the resilient
child/adolescent - that are missing from the family, school and community
of the child/adolescent who later receives intervention. (Benard, l991;
Speck & Krovetz, l995) Werner and Smith write that the resilient
child is one “who loves well, works well, plays well, and expects
well.” (1992, p. 192)
Resilient children usually have four attributes in common (Benard, 1991;1993;1995;
2004):
• social competence (ability to elicit
positive responses from others, thus establishing positive relationships
with both adults and peers),
• problem-solving skills (planning which
facilitates seeing oneself in control and resourcefulness in seeking
help from others),
• autonomy (sense of one’s own identity
and an ability to act independently and exert some control over
one’s environment)
• sense of purpose and future (goals,
educational aspirations, persistence, hopefulness, and a sense
of a bright future).
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Most people have these four attributes to some extent. Whether or not
these attributes are strong enough within the individual to help that
person bounce back from adversity is dependent on having certain protective
factors in one’s life. The following are key protective factors
needed within the family, school and community:
• social competence (ability to elicit
positive responses from others, thus establishing positive relationships
with both adults and peers),
• problem-solving skills (planning which
facilitates seeing oneself in control and resourcefulness in seeking
help from others),
• autonomy (sense of one’s own identity
and an ability to act independently and exert some control over
one’s environment)
• sense of purpose and future (goals, educational
aspirations, persistence, hopefulness, and a sense of a bright
future).
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Where do we go from here?
Fostering resiliency in children is a long-term project, involving
systemic change within the communities of children. It isn’t something
we do to kids. It isn’t a curriculum we teach to kids. It isn’t
something added to a school or community with short-term grant money.
Supporting resiliency in children is based on deeply held beliefs that
what we do every day around children makes a difference in their lives.
It is about dedicating our hearts and minds to creating communities
that are rich in caring, high expectations and purposeful support, and
opportunities for meaningful participation. It is the understanding
that the culture and daily practices of schools need to be redesigned
in ways that demonstrate a deep commitment to the potential of all students,
and it is the courage to work to create such schools.
As our social institutions have fallen apart - no need to outline here
the effects of divorce, mobility, long work hours, poverty, racism,
sexism, etc. on our children and on society - more and more is expected
of schools to meet the social and psychological needs of students. At
the same time, schools are being constantly criticized for not preparing
graduates with the academic skills to be productive members of the American
work force. In response to a multitude of conflicting demands, many
schools lack clarity of focus, offering a program that resembles a shopping
mall - lots of independent shops, browsing is encouraged, and buying
is optional (Powell et al., 1985).
A note for alternative school educators
Many teachers in alternative schools, hopefully not you, think that
they are fostering resiliency for their students but, in fact, are enabling
the students to continue behaviors that are not productive. Caring and
valuing student voice are important, but usually are enabling rather
than empowering unless they are combined with high expectations and
support to meet those expectations. Esteem is built through accomplishment
of important things, not recognition for doing things that are not important.
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